Wish I had this thing years ago woulda saved those three long years of schoolin which tort me jack-shit. This spellin thing is truly amazing like if I write " I seen Mary Janes carnt last week" it tells me "I saw Mary Jane's cunt last week" So I yell "Hey Paw, this puter seen Mary Janes pussy too". And Paw said "Shit Bawney, everbody in the district has seen that glue-pot, looks like she's branchin' out".Don't remember much when I was small, used to be wif Mom all the time. Paw always had some sick sheep in the paddocks which needed, as he put it, " My undisturbed attention". When he said that, me an Mom knew it was serious so we kept away. Strange thing is tho he usta say it damn near every day. Never saw any dead sheep about so Paw must have been fixin these ewes up real good.Once a month Mom an me would set off in the pick-up and travel around all the local farms and Mom would cut the men's hair. I used to look forward to these days but I didn't know why, like I was only about. “Well, that was a very satisfactory functionality check, if you ask me. But if there’s anything you’d like to ask, feel free.”It sounded to Ben as if the men were about to be on their way. Thank goodness the insanity was about to end! He turned, almost losing his footing and taking the fall he’d envisaged before climbing back up to peer through the broken shutter.Felicia was sitting up now, but looking no more decent than she had on all fours with the machine pounding her rear end. “As a matter of fact, there was something I wanted to ask.”“Ask away, love,” Dave said.“The equipment that's making your overalls bulge so. Can I see?” She didn't even have the decency to blush.“Anything and everything for the customer,” Dave said, glancing across at his colleague.Technically, Ben thought as outrage exploded within, he was the customer, and all he wanted was for the two men to disappear. Instead both were unbuttoning their overalls. This was beyond belief. True, he’d always known Felicia.
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